#157 Diet Freedom Begins When You See The Road, Not The River

A small group of therapists take a client for a walk in the forest. Eventually, they come to a quiet country tarmac road. The therapists look left and right and can't see a vehicle for miles. As they make to step out and cross, the client screams out, "Stop! Don't do it! You'll get yourself killed!"

Startled, the therapists pull back. "What's wrong?" they ask, confused by the sudden outburst.

"Can't you see?" the client responds with genuine fear in his voice. "That's a raging river, and if you try to cross, you'll be drowned in no time."

This moment becomes fertile ground for the group of therapists, all from different disciplines. Each one in turn takes time to chat with the client. They offer all kinds of solutions and therapies. Some even discuss in great detail his relationship with his family and his childhood, trying to determine how he came to confuse a simple country lane with a dangerous river.

The therapy has the potential to continue for a long time, days, weeks, or even years, until someone can get to the root of his problem

.

But what if there is no problem to solve?

What if this isn't about fixing something broken, but understanding something profound about how we all experience reality?

The Map Is Not The Territory: A Fundamental Truth

The Map Is Not The Territory

In NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), we have a principle that explains this phenomenon perfectly: the map is not the territory.

What this means is simple yet revolutionary: we don't experience the world directly. We experience our perception of the world using our mental map of it. And your map is very different from mine.

Your map shows dangers where mine doesn't. Your map reveals pathways where I see only obstacles. Each individual map has its own intricacies, and the frightened man in our story genuinely saw a raging river where others could only see a road.

No amount of explaining was really going to change his map of the world.

Why We All Experience the Same World Differently

Have you ever wondered why we all react differently to the same situation?

We're all carrying different maps, mental maps built from our experiences, beliefs, memories, and assumptions. But here's the catch: none of us are walking around with the territory. We only ever see our own version of it.

"You're not reacting to the world. You're reacting to your perception of the world."

And that's really good news.

Why This Matters for Weight Loss and Self-Transformation

Let's say you believe you have no willpower. You've dieted a hundred times, lost a few pounds, gained them back, and told yourself, "I always mess it up."

That belief becomes part of your map. It tells you, "Don't bother—you'll fail again." It filters what you see. It hides the evidence of your strength. It even changes how you behave, making failure more likely.

But here's the twist: that map isn't the truth. It's just the version you've rehearsed the most.

"Reality isn't something we see, it's something we interpret."

Two Hikers, One Path: A Revealing Metaphor

Imagine the hikers standing at the same spot. One says, "Let's cross the road here." The other stares at the same place and says, "What road? That's a river."

Now, who's right?

They both are. According to their maps.

And that's the work of therapy, mindset coaching, and personal change: we don't redraw people's maps for them. We walk beside them, pointing things out. Helping them realize there might be a bridge nearby they hadn't noticed.

What This Means For Your Journey

This perspective offers profound implications:

1. Just because you've always believed something about your body or eating habits doesn't make it true

2. Feeling stuck doesn't mean you actually are stuck

3. If your mental map says "there's no way forward," it might be time to look for bridges you haven't noticed

You're just reading from a well-worn map, one that may be long overdue for an update. And the best part?

You get to redraw it.

Ready to Redraw Your Map and Quit Dieting Forever?

In my Quit Your Diet course, I don't give you another restrictive eating plan. Instead, I help you rewrite the mental map that has led you back to diets again and again. You'll discover practical tools, transformative exercises, and illuminating stories that shift your perspective so changes finally stick.

Want a free printable guide to all seven core assumptions (including this one) that can transform your relationship with food and body?

Visit actionfactorypublishing.com/signup for immediate access to these resources and more tools coming soon.

Coming Next in This Series

"You Are the Expert of Your Own Life" — Why Nobody (Not Even Me) Knows What's Best for You